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2 a.m. on Sunday morning and he’s staring at the ceiling, counting water stains.

He goes to church, just because, and listens to the sound of words like “grace” and “salvation” and lets his eyes find the broken lines and chips in the podium.
Breakfast is toast, because that’s all the diner downstairs serves, and it’s always eaten in five neat bites.
Light is always white, never sterile.
Stars are planets, never things to be wished upon.
And people are atoms and molecules and tissue and sliding muscle.

He works as a dentist, and asks “How has life been treating you lately?” and makes soft noises in the back of his throat, so they’ll come back next time.
Favorite colors don’t exist.
Nor first loves,
Only
Wanting to eat
     And wanting to sleep
     And wanting to “touch”
Because of hormones and synapses and instinctual need.
      And “marry me” is a “just because”

2 a.m. in the morning, and she’s counting the number of ways she wishes she could make him smile, because he’d be beautiful.
Exploring the concept of Existentialism. The idea of a human being freed from all emotion.

The first question is:
lack of

or

supression of?

Aussming the first, next we must ask:
is emotion based on hormones

or

the soul?

If its based on hormones, then there must be a lack of hormones yes? Yet, hormones play a dinstinct role in health, some hormones help keep your blood count up, others inspire interest in the opposite gender. So, selective hormone lack? Or if lack of all, that means, no need to touch or feel or have any sort of intimate relationship with anyone.
If its soul, then you're body is governed mainly by instinctual and physical needs.
There will also be the need for brain stimulation, patterns, color differentation, and categorization. I assume.

Another question (this is all inspired by ~Wavering-Mind) is whether or not another person can love someone who can never love them or reciprocate, show any interest, back. My theory is that yes, its possible, because, as it is proven over and over, love doesn't have to be logical.

Anyone have thoughts?
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:iconword-express:
Word-Express Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014
It's more complex than that. It's the pineal gland.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=62raWp…

That's why I want to study biochemistry
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:iconmasterofwordsandart:
MasterofWordsAndArt Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
to me, existentialism is about the purpose of emotions, life, death, religion, pain, happiness, and why things happen.
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:iconasecretoutlet:
asecretoutlet Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012
wait- existentialism is about lack of emotions? I thought it was about being authentic in your emotions?
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:icondestinedsoul21:
destinedsoul21 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
Wow. I've NEVER read more poignant existentialist poetry.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That is quite the compliment, thank you. =)
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:iconjim66:
jim66 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011
Very good one.And to answer the question ,yes,emotions are all chemical processes. Its just that the illusions of soul ,existence and action are what make life worth living.
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:iconphantasmicmelody:
phantasmicmelody Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2010
this is beautiful and amazing <3
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
=] Thank you.
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:iconblacklemon67:
Blacklemon67 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
amazing, I feel like I've been sort of a zombie lately, who's only use is to mull over philosophical dilemmas and hypothetical future scenarios. :S
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It is quite fun to mull over such things, so I hope that you are enjoying your time doing so. =]
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:iconblacklemon67:
Blacklemon67 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's half and half
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:iconsynapticriot:
synapticriot Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009
This was beautiful!

Though, the scientific inaccuracy kind of distracted me. Stars are not planets, but suns. Not wanting to be a pedant but a grave mistake like that could put off someone like me.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. =]

I appreciate the comment, but I was thinking of the planets at the time, and quite a few people see planets and mistake them for stars do they not? I wished to make a comment on planets specifically because it added a certain amount of practicality to it, more than science. If I had said something along the lines of the makeup of the stars it would have leaned more towards science, which was not the point. I can see however, what you mean, and will have to think more thoroughly on how to make my meaning more clear. Thanks. ^^
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:icontheslob:
TheSlob Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2009
Well it all sounds very interesting, and my art teacher is suggesting I research existentialism.

However i'm a bit confused, could you put the fundamentals of existentialism in stoner-obvious terms?
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not sure that I am the best person to define Existentialism for you. This was me trying to understand it more clearly myself. If you would like to read a piece of literature about it, I would suggest The Stranger by Camus. It's a very good book, about a "existential" man. He is arrested and convicted for a crime he did not commit because he is incapable of showing any emotion one way or another in emotional situations (such as the death of his mother). This, leads the jury to believe him to be cold and heartless and therefore capable of committing murder, and is thus convicted.

As far as I am able to determine, existentialism is the inability to feel strong emotion in daily life. It is akin to going through life looking through the window, or the t.v. screen, and feeling no emotional attachment or involvement with the world or people around you.
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:icontheslob:
TheSlob Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2009
That sounds more like annadonia, the inability to feel emotion.
The way you put it makes it sound like a negative thing.
I know that existentialism has to do with placing importance on the individual.
for example, everything that happens to a person is in a sense, his own fault. i wrote a little existentialist poem actually, check out my journal and let me know if that helps at all.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Perhaps it is, this was just an exploration, for a friend. I would research it more thoroughly, except that life seems intent upon keeping me very busy. I will however, to so when i get the chance. Thank you. =]
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:icondoyouknowmeidont:
doyouknowmeIdont Featured By Owner May 16, 2009
that was amazing. :heart:
especially the ending.

i think it's quite possible to love someone who can never love you back.
but. that's just me.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner May 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. :heart:

I think so too.
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:icondoyouknowmeidont:
doyouknowmeIdont Featured By Owner May 19, 2009
you're welcome. (:

i think a lot of people do.
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:iconmr-youse:
mr-youse Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2009
great idea, and very well displayed! wonderful piece!
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, =]
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:icontexas-flood:
texas-flood Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2009
If you're portraying his world as one extremely structured and organized, i think your prose should reflect that. Right now its kind of fragmented whereas a more structured style, one that reads almost like an essay, would more suit the subject you're capturing. But your imagery and details are still effective at characterizing him.
I would also hasten to disagree, materialist monism (which is not in itself an integral part of existentialism (there were some dualist existentialists)) while explaining emotions and beliefs as neural and hormonal interactions does not destroy them. There are still favourite colours, just they are understood as being products of a brain rather than part of a soul.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I can see what your saying, this is a new concept for me, and I'm currently trying to wrap my thought process around it. This was mainly a practice run, to see if I could reach a more thorough understanding of it.
How then would the individual brain decide what colors to like and dislike, and would they be the same for everyone? I see favorite things as a mixture of memory, emotional attachment, and partly logical preference. If memory didn't mean anything to you, and you didn't get emotionally attached to anything, how could you have a favorite of something? You may perhaps, have a preference, say, this cup fits in the hand better, or those scissors are easier to use, so therefore the brain would prefer them, but would they truly be a favorite?
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:icontexas-flood:
texas-flood Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2009
Preferment, as you explained are a product of emotional memories, one could prefer a cup not for any utilitarian reason but merely because it has some pleasant aspect to it.I was never aware that existentialism was against forming emotional attachments (though I have but a sort of passing interest in philosophy). But if one did not form these attachments, then yes one couldn't prefer things.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
hmmm, thank you, for the food for thought. Its something I will have to think about and research more fully. I appreciate you taking the time to discuss it with me. =]
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:icontexas-flood:
texas-flood Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2009
you're very welcome
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009
well now, i certainly feel sad. this made me feel worthless. but you know, in a good way. because writing isn't like that for me, strangely enough. i read writing because i like it, not because it makes me feel any certain way. so bravo :heart:
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh noes, never worthless!! =[ I'm sorry.
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009
oh, don't you even worry about that! i liked it, because writing doesn't make me feel much. :heart: i swear, i'm not just saying this.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm just curious, do you mean, writing doesn't make you feel much, or reading writing doesn't make you feel much?
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009
usually reading it. writing it is just a relief for me, usually. and a bit of a nasty habit ;P
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
hahah, I see. ^^
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:iconamertie:
Amertie Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009
2 a.m. in the morning, and she’s counting the number of ways she wishes she could make him smile, because he’d be beautiful.

i loveee the ideas behind this.
Reply
:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you ^^ I do too, it just needs work..or something. hahah. Thanks again.
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:iconwombat-pentagram:
Wombat-Pentagram Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2009
this is an awesome work i love it :) good job. so bitter sweet.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, thanks. :)
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2009   Writer
I really love the way your mind works
and this is a brilliant piece which I love by the way. :heart:

First off, I think existentialism is a little crazy. The whole idea of distancing yourself from a world that is really all that you have is...I don't know...sad?

But, I personally think it is rare and maybe even impossible for people to completely lack all emotion so I would believe that people more suppress them than not have any at all.
And I truly hope that people's emotions aren't governed by hormones since that leads into the whole idea that if you as a person are just the product of genetics than are all emotions predetermined and completely random? I don't like the idea of what I feel/think is purely the product of something that I can't control and was destined to happen due to my genes/ a random circumstance. If that makes sense? I want emotions to come from some place awesome...but I'm not sure where.

Mhmm, love is definitely not logical. So totally possible to love without love in return.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I had never looked at it that way before. Wow. Thank you. Yes, that is kind of scary, the pre-ordained emotions based on hereditary. Quite the thought. That goes alot into genes, eyecolor, hair, etc, comes about, and how we are attracted to certain features of a person. Genetically, scientifically, we are supposed to be attracted most to people we are least like genetically. I thought that was interesting, but I also like to believe that people and their personalities can outweigh that genetic drive to find someone least like ourselves.

Mmmhmm, emotions are beautiful and painful and I think feel like they should be something more meaningful than hormones in our bloodstream too.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009   Writer
Ugh, I'm not sure I like the idea of us being genetically/scientifically attracted to people.
I think perhaps, science should have no part in love and relationships. I always thought personalities mattered so much now I know that it is in fact, genes. Haha.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I still believe in personality more than I believe in genes, the hottest guy on the planet can still be a huge jerk. Personality wins, everytime, no matter what science says. We may have the physical urge to be with someone least like us genetically, but I think our hearts decide in the end.
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:iconpaperheartsyndrome:
paperheartsyndrome Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009   Writer
I like the idea.
I'm going to live by that instead. (I also agree that personality will win everytime)
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
=] I don't think I'd be able to accept the other way, it makes me cringe.
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:iconseleniafish:
seleniafish Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2009
This was freakin brilliant.
I was researching Existentialism for my Classic Literature project, but then someone else got it. >.<

Favorite. Favorite. Favorite.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome! and bummer. hahah. Did you find anything you found interesting on it? I'm curious. =]

Thank you! very much. ^^
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:iconseleniafish:
seleniafish Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2009
You're quite welcome.

But what I found was mostly the same stuff you said. Just add the part where there's no point in life and everything is basically one color. (overall picture I guess)

But I congratgualte you. I would have never been able to put it into these words.
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah, for some reason thats the hardest part for me to accept. There being no point in life for them. In the same way that someone told me that you didn't need hope to survive, to keep going everyday, you only needed survival itself. But then, he didn't believe in beautiful people, or love either, :shrug:.
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:iconseleniafish:
seleniafish Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2009
And again, it's only a philosophy that you don't have to accept as your own. It's an interesting thought that may have some truth sometimes (or maybe all the time depending on your views) and it's important to look at all sides of the half full/half empty glass before making a decision. :D
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:icontheafterwhys:
TheAfterWhys Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
mmhmm, taking into account various things, your beliefs, personal experience etc. ^^ I just thought it was an interesting thought.
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:iconseleniafish:
seleniafish Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2009
Interesting indeed :D
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